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~ArinaQuartz

Arina

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Status: Member
Wannabe Poet
Female/United States
Offline for 6w 3d 5h 3m 31s
Deviant since Mar 23, 2005, 11:54 PM

56 Deviations
48 Scraps [browse]
976 Deviation Comments
150 Deviant Comments
75 Forum Posts
4,190 Pageviews

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uncertainty

All of this uncertainty is making me paranoid again it's hard to breath again and i see things again
If i could just get one or two clear answers i could relax again and i could smile again and relate
again
but i don't know what i should expect and it's pulling on me again making things hard
again bringing back memories again
if just one person would sit and really think and write it all down for me to read and if i could believe in those words and hold on to them forever

Recent Deviations

sex
in Open on 10/15/07

Let it goyou hold me and tell me to let it go as i cry and pour it all out to you all these things i never knew were there. revelation after revelation
Let it go because it's gone either way it was never what you thought.

and so i'm letting go. Let it go
in Open on 10/11/07

I miss youI sit here waiting, hoping,
missing you i cry,
so much, so hard i'm weak
you can either save me or never really understand the possibility I miss you
in Open on 10/11/07

Not enoughYou said you'd always be there. I knew it was a lie, but I bought into what you said. I wanted to try.
I knew I wasn't good enough to be what you deserve. I got my chance and fucked it up and shattered my whole world.
Despite the lies and misery I wanted it to work, but you never really loved me and that's what really hurts. Not enough
in Fixed on 10/11/07

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Sonnet: I Can't SleepI Can't Sleep I know those patterns all too well, too well: Familiar rhythms of your sleeping breath, Your body mem'ry's in me til my death, And though you're gone I can't forget your smell.
I turn in bed and reach to find you gone. And sleepless, wonder if it's really true; I shall no longer share this bed with you, I ache the whole night through until the dawn.
O please release my mind my heart my soul And grant me freedom from this nightly pain I need to feel the night entire again I need to feel the night entire and whole.
At dawn my wretche Sonnet: I Can't Sleep
by *themapper

maflingo
by ~sketcheh

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can't write.

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 10, 2007, 9:15 PM

Mood: Miserable

So, usually I get inspired when life's shitty and writing helps me get through things and understand what's going on and relate events in my life to other events and so forth, but i'm so miserable that i can't even write. i've made a few attempts, but i don't even care enough to rhyme, there's a pathetic attempt at form, and really i just ramble a little, trying to stick to a theme, but i don't have the words to really portray how truly miserable i am. every attempt is just so hollow. it's not like i really like anything i write anyway, but this is the worst yet. i guess life could be worse. if it weren't for a few very wonderful people i've lucked into being able to claim as my friends, i really don't know how i'd make it through. they've saved so much from being lost.

8 Comments | Previous Journal Entries

Devious Information

Website
http://Independability.com
Yahoo
arinaquartz

Current Age: 26
Current Residence: Wild, Wonderful, West Virginia, Woohoo!
Interests: math, dance, drinking, snowboarding, D2, D&D, Hanjie, kakuro, music, shojo, winning...
Favourite movie: The Labyrinth
Favourite band or musician: David Bowie/Garbage
Favourite genre of music: ecclectic
Favourite artist: Madison
Favourite poet or writer: michio kaku (or something)
Favourite photographer: photography isn't real art
Favourite style of art: dance
Shell of choice: snail
Favourite game: online? d2. consoles? ddr and ffs. board? monopoly. drinking? starwars. tabletop? d&d.
Favourite cartoon character: me
Personal Quote: heh.... Fuck off
Tools of the Trade: my own damn madness?... um, my fingers, maybe?

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Devious Comments

~HeartRoyale

Oct 13, 2007, 8:21:05 AM

Thanks for all the favs!

--
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" ~Oscar Wilde

~ClockworkGoth

Oct 13, 2007, 12:36:45 AM

Thanks for the Fav

--
This comment is protected by the Dark Side

--
Do you dream of electric sheep?

~ClockworkGoth

Oct 11, 2007, 11:03:31 PM

Thanks for the

--
This comment is protected by the Dark Side

--
Do you dream of electric sheep?

~interruptedangel16

Jul 25, 2007, 1:58:42 PM

Hi there! Just saying hi to everybody who lives in WV. LOL!

--

Audrey Rose

Your words are like razorwire and here I am...ensnared and bloody.

*themapper

May 9, 2007, 10:12:34 AM

(steals a quick kiss and darts away, smiling)

--
Entre chien et loup.

~fortymudshanks

Mar 30, 2007, 4:23:51 PM

Thanks for the recent favorites, hun!

I haven't seen you in quite some time; how are you?

--
What would the world be like if we tried to be kind as hard as we tried to be beautiful?

~LordGawaine

Mar 29, 2007, 3:07:23 PM

Hey, thanks for the

on [link]

I really appreciate it!

~bewm

Jan 21, 2007, 2:49:02 PM

b.. mtown sucks.

--
..................................................
"..does my face lie?"
..................................................

~miserybahamut

Dec 17, 2006, 3:11:21 PM

Thank you for visiting my page! Long days and pleasant nights to ye.

--
I am Yuri Hyuga from Shadow Hearts and Energy Liger from Zoids in in dA's ~Claimers-Club!

*themapper

Sep 27, 2006, 10:04:38 AM

900 kilometers is about 550 miles, maybe 560 miles. It is a solid 11 hour drive, given our road conditions and the amount of traffic. Beautiful drive, however.

Sleep. sleeeep. I need more sleeeep.

Would love to hear how the band thing is developing.

Russ

--
Entre chien et loup.

~ArinaQuartz

Sep 27, 2006, 9:51:28 AM

i have no idea how far 900 km is away. lol... i was thinking 900 miles at first but realized that was like 15 hours away and decided that couldn't be right... i've been fairly uninspired recently as well, but i'm starting up a band (lol) with a friend of mine and i've been looking for new ideas so hopefully i'll be getting more done soon. it's hard with everything going on though. i don't even have enough time to sleep so trying to find time to write and be creative is pretty much impossible atm. i'm sure you'll do well though. school's always a good bet. i know i always feel better when i'm learning and improving myself that way, even if it is exhausting. it helps me alot with confidence and the more confident you are about something the better you'll do at it.

--
I am not the woman of your dreams, but the cause of your nightmares.

*themapper

Sep 27, 2006, 9:31:26 AM

Changed jobs, now living 900 kilometers away from home (killer commute problem), desperately lonely at times, but also busy. Haven't had the the time or inspiration to write or draw anything lately, tho I remain hopeful I can turn this corner too.

Thinking about quitting work and going back to school, or else maybe fitting in distance ed into my schedule to upgrade my skills. I've tons of experience but often cannot compete successfully on jobs that require letters after your name

.

Kindergarten already! My how time flies. You must be so proud of him.

Russ

--
Entre chien et loup.

~ArinaQuartz

Sep 27, 2006, 5:59:12 AM

busy busy busy. between school, work, and t(who's now in kindergarten) i've hardly had time to sleep! and you?

--
I am not the woman of your dreams, but the cause of your nightmares.

*themapper

Sep 26, 2006, 4:39:36 PM

Hiya. How ya been?

--
Entre chien et loup.

~ArinaQuartz

Sep 18, 2006, 5:56:17 AM

omg omg, so is mine!!!

--
I am not the woman of your dreams, but the cause of your nightmares.

~ShatterSoul

Sep 15, 2006, 8:20:51 AM

Did you know...My grandfather is in the Mafia?

--
"Life is one big in-joke. That's why no one gets it."

"Shadoooooloooooo"

~IrishNinja

Aug 10, 2006, 1:37:14 AM

Heya Arina! Just thought I'd tell you that I'm trying to get back into DevArt. Also, I replied to your original email awhile ago (i.e. several months) and never got a response. Just checking to see if you got it and that everything's alright. See ya around

--
It's not so much a signature as it is a loose confederation of words.

~ShatterSoul

May 13, 2006, 5:29:40 PM

I expect to see you soon.
Cheesedick be damned.
I'll be in town tuesday. Derek's gonna pick me up.
You know where to find me.

--
"Life is one big in-joke. That's why no one gets it."

"Shadoooooloooooo"

~SethWalters

Feb 27, 2006, 1:22:19 PM

tY SO MUCH FOR THE FAV! i appreciate!

--
This is Seth
- remember kids, that brown thing isn't chocolate

~ShatterSoul

Feb 19, 2006, 11:12:33 AM

I like pie.

--
"Life is one big in-joke. That's why no one gets it."

"Shadoooooloooooo"

~ArinaQuartz

Feb 13, 2006, 3:54:30 PM

eh, ok.... this time of year is always a little rough on me though.

yourself?

--
I am not the woman of your dreams, but the cause of your nightmares.

~critmass

Feb 4, 2006, 8:20:20 PM

how ya been?

--
Lovecraftian persona

~ShatterSoul

Jan 12, 2006, 11:32:50 AM

I hate you. You smell atrocious. You have horrible taste in clothing. You just suck in general. In fact, kill yourself now.

--
"Life is one big in-joke. That's why no one gets it."

"Shadoooooloooooo"

~alientwilight